Saturday, May 11, 2013

more time

I gave flirting a try last night with an old co-worker.. Granted, it was on bookface chat, but still. I am a natural flirt and it was easy at first. I don't know what I'm doing. I'm not even divorced yet, but I just feel like I'm stuck right now. After having a good cry before going to bed, I left with the feeling that it's definitely too soon and that I need to just focus on me and my healing right now. I need to work on my confidence, but I need to stay focused on my spirituality.

Like Sean told me, I need to realize how amazing I am, to see myself as he sees me. At the time I almost laughed at the cliche'.. but it meant the world to hear it from him. I miss him so much it hurts some days. It's more noticeable when I can't sleep at night, when I'm not distracted by work or going through the boxes of my life. I've actually found myself praying for a chance to be with him someday, when I'm better. When I'm happier. What a dream come true that would be, one I've had for over a decade.

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